Grumpy Granny Syndrome

I'm not making it up, Grumpy Granny Syndrome (GGS) exists, I've seen it in action, at least I've seen it in action in my neck of the woods, or more specifically in the Asda in my neck of the woods, (not my supermarket of preference but convenient sometimes and incredibly cheap). My friend J. says I shouldn't shop in Asda because they use slave labour, not sure what for, and their profits bolster American world domination, not sure about that either. Although, I'm beginning to suspect they do dodgy stuff to their salad - preserve it in cryogenic suspension or radiate it or something, because my super-fresh on-the-vine cherry berry tomatoes always seem to go rotten the day after I've bought them.

Anyway back to GGS and Asda. I doubt I would have picked up on it if it wasn't for my own state of impending Grannyhood. Over the last few months I have somehow morphed into an expert Granny spotter. You know the way it is - you decide to buy a car that nobody else has got or ever heard of then suddenly they're everywhere and as common as Uug boots and man-bags and you're tripping over them endlessly. Maybe that isn't quite the way - but you get my drift.

So, there I was in Asda, reluctantly (that's for J's sake) buying my soon to be rotten tomatoes, when it came to my attention ( I sound like a policeman) as I was proceeding in a yoghurtly direction past organic veg. and pre-packed salads, that the place was full of trolley pushing kid laden grannies. Honestly - school holidays innit!!!! And I have to say, a more grouchy bunch of old grannies would be hard to picture.

All I can say is this - after George arrives, and daughter A., bless her, pays me the ineffable compliment of asking for my help at holiday time, I promise I won't behave in such an ungrannylerly fashion. Amongst other things, I definitely won't whack him/her if he/she chooses to squidge the fresh loaf I've just bought - bread is squidgy stuff, what can you expect? I won't yell if he/she throws all the toys out of the pram - that's what they're in there for. I won't blow smoke all over him/her the minute I'm outside (I've given up, five months now) I have to admit to a smug smile at this point. And I certainly won't embarrass him/her if he/she gets caught short in frozen foods and leaves a puddle on the floor. In fact, I think I'd probably keep clear of supermarkets if I had George in tow, I've always found them to be a bit short on entertainment value in kid world and best avoided where possible.

Oh dear, what a rant!

Perhaps I should swap supermarkets and try to find a better class of granny to spot. Twenty three days to go (lost a day or miscalculated somewhere) and I still need all the tips I can get. Maybe I'll give the books another go!!!