Daughter A, bless her, phoned with an update. The mid-wife says baby's head is now two fifths engaged. Makes George sound as if he/she is occupied elsewhere and far to busy to be born. Hope he/she doesn't arrive early - hope he/she doesn't arrive late. What I mean to say is I hope he/she arrives on time. (Whoops, babbling a bit) C'mon George, get your little head together - no more lolling about, you really need to start concentrating.
I'm beginning to suspect I'm a tad over-nit-picky about the type of granny I want to be. So far my grannies-worth-emulating list has only got two grannies on it - Quad-Bike Granny and Vanessa Redgrave (she's superb at everything so she must be a faultless granny and I just want to be her anyway). Whereas, my grannies-I'd-rather-eat-my-kneecaps-than-be-remotely-like list, is growing all the time.
I definitely can't be a WI granny, sterling bunch though the Women's Institute might be. For a start I'd have to join their ranks and I've never been much of a joiner (as in groups obviously - not carpentry, I'm not bad with wood) And for an end, when I was researching how-to granny books on Amazon, I had a quick look at WI Practical Know-Hows for Grannies - 100 tips and quotes for the modern granny. Just what I needed you'd think. Wrong! The title of the first chapter was BAKING NEVER FAILS TO SATISFY. Why is it that grannying is so dependent on flaming cooking? I was too intimidated to read any further.
And I certainly don't want to be an Alternative granny - as in hemp wearing, recycled tyre sandaled, spin your own yak woollies, alternative. There's a lot of that goes on around here, think they're attracted by the wacky myths and druidic drivel generated by the standing stones littered about - not as many as there once was since, historically, they get nicked by farmers for gateposts - the stones not grannies.
Anyway, AG's are not going on my list, they're probably very worthy bunch, but sometimes they smell, and all that back to basics stuff seems like hard work to me. I don't want to spend any part of my hols in a yurt, (they smell too - damp dog) I'm not wearing hemp (not sure what it is but bet it's itchy) Can't go organic ( don't fancy slugs in my lettuce). And although, I'm all for recycling my rubbish (as in placing it in correct colour bin) I draw the line at wearing it, weaving handbags with it or making funky (questionable) garden features out of it.
Oh God, what a negative rant. Sounds like I've got issues! I don't want to be a negative ranting issue ridden granny either!!
I've just discovered a good granny website, no, not a good granny website, its a website called good granny.com. And guess who it's written by - Jolly old Jane Firmly Witherwhatsit, mother of hairy Hugh and advocator of polished ivory domino usage. Maybe her website is a bit more up to date than her book - How to be a Modern Grandmother!! So I'm off to have a peruse.
No comments:
Post a Comment